Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
third nipple confirmed
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
