are you still at the devil's house?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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