so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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