3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
More tranny stories later!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
