Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
