wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
