The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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