I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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