he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
