The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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