I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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