who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
