For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize