She said her name was "party"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
