If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Non-Jews are for practice
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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