Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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