Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
