She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
