OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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