it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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