I think scott just propositioned me for sex
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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