were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
