dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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