Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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