so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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