i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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