I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
