I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize