You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
