Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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