Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
now i know why i became what i already was.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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