Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
