if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
