Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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