They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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