I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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