I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
