So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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