I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm sobbing to NWA
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
