ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
