nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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