Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
