Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
