My hair reeks of homosexuality.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
