so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
