a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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