So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
