Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
