Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
