why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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