i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize