Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
