I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
