omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
