Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
