Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
