i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
