i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
